Case of the Mondays

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-life-shaping-power-of-small-choices/

This morning, I was going through my saved links and this one really stuck out.  Monday always feels like a fresh start for me.  I've noticed that many moms are working out, eating healthier, and overall taking better care of themselves.  I think this is fantastic.  I know from personal experience, you can only run on fumes for so long and it will catch up with you.  Self-care is so important and I've been told to take time to do at least one thing for myself a day. It doesn't have to be huge, just something that I enjoy.  I challenge you to do the same.  Think of one thing and follow through with doing it.  If we don't take care of ourselves, no one else will.  Have a happy Monday.

* Feel free to comment and share any of your ideas for daily self care.  Some of mine include taking a walk, meditating, and reading.

Beginnings

3 weeks ago:

"I hope you didn't spend alot of money on that thing." Brian said as he pulled it out of my trunk.  I had found it on clearance at a home decor store.  It was one of those items that just yelled at me to buy it.  I knew it had to go in my office with its colorful rope and shiny tusks.  Elephants were a reoccuring thing in my life.  They kept popping up.  I had started seeing a new therapist the week before, and her office was painted a soft orange and adorned with little elephants here and there.  I had found this website www.elephantjournal.com which had some of the most amazing articles I had read in a long time.  In some cultures, the elephant symbolizes inner strength and wisdom.

 

 

 

 

The Elephant in the Room:

A phrase that can be applied when a topic is emotionally charged and avoided.

What is your biggest fear?
My biggest fear? That Ty will die. 
Is that something that has almost happened or could happen soon?
There have been several times we have wondered if we were going to be going home without him from the hospital, but he is healthy now.  He is doing good.
Do you think about that all of the time?
Not anymore.  The anxiety medicine has helped alot and the book you recommended helped me realize that I could worry every day or not all and I would still be prepared the same amount if it were to happen.
{She smiled}
On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard is it caring for Ty?
Ummmm, right now a 4 I guess?  Some things are just harder you know?  For instance, we just went on vacation with friends and went to the beach.  Their kids were running and playing in the sand.  Ty didn't want and couldn't do that.  He will never do that.  Brian and I will never be able to just go on vacation and sit by the pool or go out to eat like everyone else.  We will always be taking care of Ty.  I say that and I feel selfish because he is happy to just sit by the ocean.  It's me who is missing out.  I don't feel bad when I say, I don't want him to have the syndrome when he is the hospital and he is hurting.  I feel guilty when I think about Brian and I will always have Ty, we will always be taking care of him. 
That isnt selfish at all.  That is human.  Anyone would have those same thoughts.  That is human nature.  I want you to do something.  Next time you have one of those negative thoughts, let it go. 
Okay, I will.  I smiled and grabbed a tissue as a tear rolled down my cheek. 
Why do you thnk you do that? 
Do what?
You tear up everytime you talk about Ty in here.
I looked up at the ceiling and thought for second and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I sucked in a breath of air and started sobbing only able to get out one word at a time.  Because......out......there.....when...I'm......talking...about.......him.....I...have.........to ....smile.



I had the above conversation with my therapist last week and I knew that there has to be others that feel the same way.  For the last several weeks, I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog.  I wanted someplace where I could be honest and completely vulnerable yet also motivating and encouraging.  Hence, The Elephant in the Room was born.  Welcome!